When I think about life...I was expecting this straight line linear graph with a positive gradient directly proportional to time...
To the very least I hope I was becoming wiser in evaluating situations and becoming a more matured individual.
Its that time again when you want a time machine. But this time I was just thinking, if my younger version of me would be here with me in the present...what he would think of me now?...Am I living up to his expectation?..Did I disappointed him?
Next, if I were to be in the past...what I would I think of my younger me?...Feeling proud and accomplished?..Or have a good laugh at myself about how foolish I was to have mistaken something and took things for granted?...
Nevertheless, this discussion have much to do with my current progress in A-Levels...I just would like to analyze my present self for a while. The way I feel it...I am becoming more distracted nowadays...with things that were never a problem back in the old days...or is it just me overreacting towards a problem which could be a tiny one if compared to the olden days.
Not only that...I might also haven't give enough credit to myself...Allah has granted me such a great and destined opportunity..should I be happier now? I definitely should be grateful and all praises to Him...But why am I having this impression that I am letting myself and everybody down?...
In the midst of this confusion and denial...lets delve into the softer part of being human which is social life. A problem which was never quite resolved at any given time. I somewhat have this realization that my reflection of my past in high school was rather biased. This in the sense that I would constantly say how great was the yesteryears compared to now. Actually, they were almost the same.
Yes, I did enjoy my life in STAR. But there were also times I wish I can leave sooner and stuffs like that. And this persists even to the very last moments of Graduation Day. I realized that I was not the person I think I was when I reflected myself. In fact, I am still the person I always were....estranged, side-lined, boring and insignificant...So technically, by now I should be getting used to this right? Why should I expect anything more?
Again, amidst this quagmire...I am always amazed at the things that passed...regardless of bitter or sweet the memories were...they really kept me going..I'm going tell something...but maybe later...got test...huhu..salam...
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