Trying my best

Sometimes I wonder....how much damage or hurt could I possibly cause...by something that is beyond my control...subconciously...

But the bitter truth for me...my subconcious actions...sometimes, reveals my true thought about a person...but still, you dont mean to hurt anyone in the process....you just do...

Should I just think...its not worth thinking about it...it is inevitable....you could not have done it any better....someone has to bear the consequences....


While I share the same opinion...I myself would get angry if I am in your position...there is nothing much I could do to rectify the situation is there?

Should I let time heal your wounds and change your mind? Is time such a meaningful factor in your evaluation of a person?


Sometimes I get that a lot...when people take me very seriously....due to the person I appear to be everyday....its a surprise when my "real" thoughts got out and you are the few who get to "see" it...

No matter how real it seems to you...its not really how I envisioned it to be...you just have to give me a chance...because I'm trying my best...

Please overlook my flaws...I wish the best for you that you can be sure of...Im sure you do too...so could we just let this one slide and the future to come...

A Ramadhan To Remember

Alhamdulillah...Alhamdulillah...Alhamdulillah...

Praise to God...I can't say that enough...

Definitely this year's holy months of Ramadhan and Syawal are memorable and special...Its the kind of relief you get when a miracle happens...After feeling so helpless and all you could do is wait patiently and pray...I cannot describe such a feeling when something so important in your life is hanging by a thread...The thought of living with that unthinkable situation for the rest of my life makes my knees buckle, my hands tremble and tears shed...Im afraid of not being able to get up again after this...But finally, it was all over in a picturesque way...

I owe everything to Him..He is my saviour...He is my sustainer...He is my shelter..He is Allah my God.

But despite everything that have happenned, I must be aware of the significance of this event, and the new responsibility that comes with it...

With this opportunity bequeathed upon me, I must work harder than before so that the final outcome is reached and not go to waste...But, all the experience and hardship I faced earlier in college perhaps will give me a prepared mind about all the possibilities...And anticipate any harm and danger that comes my way...

With this endowment, it will not be the time for me to be jumping for joy and slack off...it will be the continuation of the challenging 2 years I spent in college or A Levels...I am aware of that fact and have considered it through...I am willing or rather, I have to undertake that sort of liability...

I know somehow, some people may not consider me fit for this task...I sometimes feel that too...But it is not the time to think who should or deserve to be in this position...Whoever is chosen must try his or her best to rise to the occasion...It is no longer about competing for the opportunity...but what can be done with the opportunity...Hence, I am not going to waver and feel that I dont deserve to be here no matter how true it is in reality....But, I am going to make sure that I have tried everything within my means, capability and capacity to live up to the standards...And Im going to make sure that I can only be judged and rated based on my own merit...

It is not a situation that can be looked upon simply and taken lightly...It has so many underlying principles and clauses which must be understood beforehand as to prevent any bad consequences.

Bismillah...Lets start the new chapter of life...

Salam..