It has been almost two months since I wrote anything on this blog...I would like to just express how grateful I am to Allah that I am now safely here in UK. It was very difficult to picture what this land would be like since I never have been here before. Its just something you heard or see through television or media but not really for yourself before your own eyes.
So, in effect I have officially become a full fledged LSE student in the UK.
It is actually a big step for me. I can never really say it "aloud" because I dont think it is appropriate to flash in front of people and say what I am feeling exactly right now. I'm happy definitely but there is a limit to which you can express that amount of happiness so you dont go overboard. Because I dont like what I see in status quo (that quintessential sentence in a debate)...
It is during these times which fortunate students get to study abroad at universities of their dreams in the countries they aspire, tend to act in a way which may cause some people to feel uneasy. Even if that particular behaviour does not cause any harm to anyone (luckily), it is still unbecoming of a person to behave in that manner. I am talking about the act of "showing off". In most cases in reality, no one really wants to be a "show off" and admitting of doing so, because most of the time we are unaware of it and it seems like a spontaneous reaction of wanting to share good news to other people in hope they would share and bask in that happiness and glory.
Specifically, especially in Facebook or Twitter, people would share those moments publicly. For now, do you think is quite natural and normal for people to do so? But nevertheless, the problem arises when you do it incessantly or in a very bold note to show you are happier than everyone else who is not in your place to the extent of making people feel envious instead of feeling motivated or inspired. The way we express our happiness does make a difference, at least for other people.
This is my personal opinion on the matter. I would discourage myself from posting things like "I am here!!! Woohoo!!!" every single minute and let pictures of yourself flood people's news feeds. My simple question before you start posting anything is "What is your intention of doing so?". If you can justify yourself then go ahead. But as for me, it is just too counter-intuitive for me to succumb to the idea you can only be happy when someone else knows you are. I mean like its just too much for me...
So, then what is the difference for me by writing in this blog? Well, eventhough my blog is public but only people who would like to make an effort to know me will read this blog to begin with. Hence, it is an information upon request and not by actively promoting them when they dont even want it in the first place.
Okay, a little side-tracked here. By the way, my journey here has not been without turbulence. Indeed the influence of surroundings are so strong now. I cant let myself be hindered if I think my surroundings dont work for me. I cant let myself feel out of place if some people dont undertsand me. I cant let myself down when other people are always on their top performance. No matter how my surroundings are not in my favour, alone shall I stand with Allah as my aim and goal.
Basically you can tell or perhaps you couldnt, that I am still having the old hard stuffs coming my way. So, even in this new phase of life, the challenges are more or less similar in nature but may differ relatively in terms of the magnitude and difficulty.
The weirdest part of this new phase of life is the fact it is the combination of people who are with me right now who came from different time planes of my pasts conveniently lumped together, coinciding in one place in the present.
One thing I noticed when I came here is the question about the purpose of life which became much more prevalent. I have been asking this question incessantly wanting to satiate this curiosity. The answer is quite straightforward. But somehow, my mentality or frame of mind is still lagged behind in comprehending the situation and resisting reality. Hopefully the situation improves as all the amenities are laid out for me waiting to be utilised. The mosque is so near and I hope to attend the prayers there more frequently...
To be continued...
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