uhh...nope...not the F5 additional mathematics topic...it may sound similar but I was going for the literal meaning of it...in life terms...and not expressed in numbers okay....okay....
Its almost the end of February...the aftermath of the transition had witnessed....I would say...from my point of view...how I had evaluate it though...a more or less stagnant days after 3 months of finishing school...I was eager to enter college or university quickly...its not that I don't lke staying at home...but somehow...I need some sort of direction...a guideline of what I should do to prepare myself for the world....here are some situations of the post SPM life overall view from me...
Getting a Job
Yeah...what could be more exciting and time consuming than getting yourself preoccupied with work....I know...its one of the most beneficial things that anyone could recommend to me...perhaps it is just me...refusing to negate the fact...bearing a little hard work...yes...previously I had said that I was looking for a job...but then again...I'm not sure again...the reasons why...maybe because I thought it might be tiring....boring at times...exasperating because your having an irritating boss...I don't know...sounds petty I know...I'll have to reconsider this...maybe its just the case of being reluctant to start something new....a lot of sacrifices had to be made...like less time for hanging out...or to do something like lazing around for your hobby and leisure..
Hangout
Very exciting...really...but...I might have to concede the fact that it had been burning holes in the pockets of your parents...especially if you're not working...so...not really a good idea...but...if you want to do it sometimes...I guess it's fine....but having fun all day doesn't seem right right?....its like your living in a fake world where everything is about having fun when we have a lot of other responsibilities....
Online
Its the only social gateway I have right now...who ever wondered that I spoke less than like 20 words to my friends...a day...verbally I mean...owh...the boundaries...my lifestyle really had changed...and its really difficult to set a proper and adequate time table of what I should do...online and playing DOTA is practically the things to kill the time currently...there's just got to be something else that is beneficial at the same time...it's the thing I really want to do....
Ok..I'm done for now at least...I have to keep thinking about the things I really wanted in life...and what should I do necessarily to achieve that...I must not keep following my heart of what I wanted to do instead of what I should be doing...but to put words into practice is REALLY HARD...I've tried...look at the job thingy...anyway...I guess time will tell me what is real and what is not soon enough...I have started to see the signs...I'm trying my best to make the best out of everything...lets get MOVING!!!
Friday, February 25, 2011
Tuesday, February 15, 2011
Out with the old, In with the new
Yes...more of the sentimental moments...well...its the only thing I got left to do since...Alhamdulillah...today I passed my driving test...so that's over with...it made me realize something...I have somewhat gone through another...mini-transition period....almost like a deja vu....when the student has reached destiny...and the teacher believes his or her job is done...farewell to friends, those who went through the hard times as we did in the same boat...all that's left now is to part ways...and start anew...pretty exaggerating huh?...again, I am encountering the same things again as I used to...in the 5 years scale at least....the automatic response to these circumstances would be...
"Get a grip!!!...that's reality of life!!!"
I try to swallow and digest this...as hard it may seem for me...perhaps I had been taking everything too seriously...I just felt empty...when you have nothing to do with a person anymore...its never going to be the same...in light of this...precedences had shown me something...
All that I need to do is to find a replacement...so...that somehow...leads to our title here...don't get me wrong...I'm not asking to throw away, forget or any negative sort of idea...but...finding new values in our life...something that will keep you satisfied...regardless of how time dictates it...you will still be happy in life...things come and go...and there's nothing wrong...if you find a new one...if you give yourself a chance and add a little bit of gratefulness into you....you'll be on your way...
I realized now...there's no need to be sad...remorse..grieved..lost...and all the unbearable feelings that you've been through...because....you have nothing to lose....just make the best of life and be done with it...and I had...we'll be alright...
Just another story in contrast with the title...my experience is that...most enemies we had in the early days came to be good friends in the older days...
I had some people...who are not really acquainted to me to be exact...due to some misunderstanding...back in Standard 3...his name is Shahnaz...I was in Ipoh back then...on my 1st day of school in Ipoh...I had an argument with him I think and he deliberately stomped on my white shoes until they're dirty...not to mention it hurts too...I swear to myself he was pure evil...and my sworn enemy since then...who would have thought he would then became my bestest best friend in Ipoh till my very last day there until I moved to Shah Alam...how did that happen...I have no idea...it was too long ago...I can only remember the painful memories...I couldn't forget him...we got lost contact now...everything's gone...
A more close to current example would be my house or dorm mate...Musa...back in Form 1...again in the 1st or 2nd day I don't know...I admit it..I started it....its all because he trampled on my double-deck bed without my permission...so I splashed water on his face with bottle and said something really unpleasant...I didn't know how I could came up with that!?...I definitely woke up on the wrong side of the bed or I didn't have any manners at all...I'm just a kid at that time...he deliberately spit right at me...haha..euww...ok...getting really upset then...sorry Mus...I you're reading this..I would say I totally deserve it...I shouldn't degrade you in anyway...should my broken wrist be a paid debt?...I rather think of it as high school memories....we became close friends after...like a year later!!!..
No, no and no!!...it doesn't work vice-versa...at least I hope it doesn't....from friends to foes?...lets just stay away from that...anyway...do you know what can you REALLY gain from up there...conclusion is...regardless whatever had happened...take less time to think about what you lost...instead...try find a replacement and never hold back to give yourself a try and understand things...you will find the knowledge and experience very useful...and you will feel better after that...=)
"Get a grip!!!...that's reality of life!!!"
I try to swallow and digest this...as hard it may seem for me...perhaps I had been taking everything too seriously...I just felt empty...when you have nothing to do with a person anymore...its never going to be the same...in light of this...precedences had shown me something...
All that I need to do is to find a replacement...so...that somehow...leads to our title here...don't get me wrong...I'm not asking to throw away, forget or any negative sort of idea...but...finding new values in our life...something that will keep you satisfied...regardless of how time dictates it...you will still be happy in life...things come and go...and there's nothing wrong...if you find a new one...if you give yourself a chance and add a little bit of gratefulness into you....you'll be on your way...
I realized now...there's no need to be sad...remorse..grieved..lost...and all the unbearable feelings that you've been through...because....you have nothing to lose....just make the best of life and be done with it...and I had...we'll be alright...
Just another story in contrast with the title...my experience is that...most enemies we had in the early days came to be good friends in the older days...
I had some people...who are not really acquainted to me to be exact...due to some misunderstanding...back in Standard 3...his name is Shahnaz...I was in Ipoh back then...on my 1st day of school in Ipoh...I had an argument with him I think and he deliberately stomped on my white shoes until they're dirty...not to mention it hurts too...I swear to myself he was pure evil...and my sworn enemy since then...who would have thought he would then became my bestest best friend in Ipoh till my very last day there until I moved to Shah Alam...how did that happen...I have no idea...it was too long ago...I can only remember the painful memories...I couldn't forget him...we got lost contact now...everything's gone...
A more close to current example would be my house or dorm mate...Musa...back in Form 1...again in the 1st or 2nd day I don't know...I admit it..I started it....its all because he trampled on my double-deck bed without my permission...so I splashed water on his face with bottle and said something really unpleasant...I didn't know how I could came up with that!?...I definitely woke up on the wrong side of the bed or I didn't have any manners at all...I'm just a kid at that time...he deliberately spit right at me...haha..euww...ok...getting really upset then...sorry Mus...I you're reading this..I would say I totally deserve it...I shouldn't degrade you in anyway...should my broken wrist be a paid debt?...I rather think of it as high school memories....we became close friends after...like a year later!!!..
No, no and no!!...it doesn't work vice-versa...at least I hope it doesn't....from friends to foes?...lets just stay away from that...anyway...do you know what can you REALLY gain from up there...conclusion is...regardless whatever had happened...take less time to think about what you lost...instead...try find a replacement and never hold back to give yourself a try and understand things...you will find the knowledge and experience very useful...and you will feel better after that...=)
Thursday, February 10, 2011
Double-Standard
Just before I start with the title...today...I'll be having a driving class at 2:30pm...due to the previous mishap...oops..haha...perhaps the class would prolong for the next consecutive days until Wednesday for retest...suddenly...I somewhat saw something I hadn't foresaw...well...I don't have the confidence to drive to my driving academy...even if I had the chance to do so with my acquired license...nor can I properly deal with myself in bumper-to-bumper situations...and a LOT of other things that I didn't really know about driving...I guess all this while I had only been seeking to pass the test without learning much about competent driving....truth be told I envy people who had gotten their license without a hitch or glitch...because it made me look slow...learning how to drive...maybe that is the thing that I had to accept...I'm not cut out enough for this...still...I just had to work more...even if it means being slow...that's how I am...
Okay..the interlude's over...its just something that bothers me lately...owh...1 more thing.....I decided...I want to look for a JOB!!...finally...okay...let's start....
The term double-standard is commonly used to describe a situation in which one is treated unfairly or differently compared to others...it means a person is given special treatment for certain reasons, but in reality, every individual is at par with each other and is of equal standards...well...at least that was the gaudy definition I made up....
Double-standard...happens for a number of reasons...how should I put it....try to think of a person and why he or she is better than the other...why he or she is special to you?...but both should deserve or have the right to be treated the same way....or try this...in a family...the parents favour one child over the other...that makes more sense...so...the parents are practicing double-standard or favourtism...owh...mind you this is just an exemplary situation...no relation whatsoever to my real life situation...thank you...=)
Since you already painted the picture in your head...now list down the reasons why favourtism or double-standard occurs...I'll list down some of them that I know...
1)Physical appearance
2)Personality
3)Abilities or capabilities
Physical appearance
Em...this is a bit hard to begin with...okay...I guess I have to admit that maybe I'm not like __________ (fill in the blanks with whatever you think fits)....but I am grateful to Allah the Creator that I'm me...so I guess that goes for everyone as well....but it is maybe inevitable that you might be a bit...slightly...eenie meenie bit...by chance perhaps...envious or have that green eyes once you came across someone having the better look (or assumed to be so)....especially when he or she grabs all the attention from the ones you love...OR the other side of the coin...is that you are the one that most of the time that gets the praises and gestures from the people around you....okay...maybe the fence-sitters can be both at the same time...it DOES happen...people have different perspective don't they....
We..as human beings...we love things that look great and attractive...take shopping for a shirt or a dress....of course we took the ones that looks pleasing...presentable...so that everyone else will say the same about us too...unfortunately...I have to say...the question whether you are a human being or an object to be chosen from...isn't a pleasant one....but that's how I feel or look at it...tell me if I'm wrong...I'm sorry for misleading....I think..to me...in a situation that we need to choose...a person..as a partner,friend, or employee...it is something we just might sub-consciously take account for...so..is it necessarily wrong...if you choose to be friends or spouse with someone with good looks who is obviously more popular?...
Thus, a decision must be made...for better or worse...that is the social circle we live in today...try to evaluate yourself...have you ever treated anyone differently without any solid reason?...do you feel embarrassed to be seen by people when you are with someone?...or do you feel like you want the whole world to see he or she being with you?....should you?...to a certain extent...you have to agree...that complexion does have a stake in building relationships...as much as you try to deny or resist it...it occurs without us noticing...
Personality
The biggest cliche ever...when the inner beauty outshines the rest...you know what they say...beauty is in the eye of the beholder...does apparently what we see with our eyes signifies beauty?...looks can be deceiving is more like it...anyway...most people argue that personality of a person is the most important part...lets see how far the idea of personality can traverse...
Yes..the gem of character can really glow...people will look forward to be with someone that has such a great character...just name it...funny..sensible...cool...smart...friendly...caring...and the dreamy adjectives goes on and on and on....their presence seem very convenient to us....how they portray themselves...with such grace...what they do will warm the hearts of anyone...
Basically...the evaluation of personality depends on our actions and what we do...the way we lead our life...and what principles do we carry....people will see what values we bring inside ourselves...But the thing is...some people take these things for granted...they don't take the time to see with their hearts...and treasure the precious personality of a person...until one day...they realize...what they had been missing all this while...well...that goes for only certain people...and that is why personality sometimes become overshadowed...
Ability and Capability
Have you ever became amazed or admire anyone because of the thing they do?...does artistes ring the bell...well...just browse through some amazing things that will wow and awe you...maybe like singers...poets...guitarists...basketball or soccer players....or people who excel in their academics...something!!!...its up to you....your social circles will most probably revolve around those people who excel in the things you are amazed in...don't tell me you'll just ignore Taylor Swift when she's right in front of your eyeballs!!....(unless your not her fan...duh!!)...well...lets try a smaller and reachable scale of events please...okay...if you're a girl...then maybe you'll be more interested in people who are good in certain sports....you get the idea....
Mind you..what I said above there doesn't really apply as "double-standard"...because the term is usually used in things like rights...like in getting a job...government policies...but perhaps...if you think that you are not treated equally as a friend or spouse...that is if you regard it is as your RIGHT...I just like to put it up to make it sound more dramatic and hyperbolic..."favourtism"?...I don't know what's the difference either...google it-lah!!..haha...a piece of advice after the babble...I'm not trying to advocate some strange ideology....nor am I suffering from some dellusional heartbreak...it might or might not be related to my current life...but...in a situation that you want to choose a friend or spouse...think about the thing that matters most...of course anyone would recommend a good personality...yeah...sure...but is that exactly what you are doing right now?...that is a question I pose to myself actually....
Okay..the interlude's over...its just something that bothers me lately...owh...1 more thing.....I decided...I want to look for a JOB!!...finally...okay...let's start....
The term double-standard is commonly used to describe a situation in which one is treated unfairly or differently compared to others...it means a person is given special treatment for certain reasons, but in reality, every individual is at par with each other and is of equal standards...well...at least that was the gaudy definition I made up....
Double-standard...happens for a number of reasons...how should I put it....try to think of a person and why he or she is better than the other...why he or she is special to you?...but both should deserve or have the right to be treated the same way....or try this...in a family...the parents favour one child over the other...that makes more sense...so...the parents are practicing double-standard or favourtism...owh...mind you this is just an exemplary situation...no relation whatsoever to my real life situation...thank you...=)
Since you already painted the picture in your head...now list down the reasons why favourtism or double-standard occurs...I'll list down some of them that I know...
1)Physical appearance
2)Personality
3)Abilities or capabilities
Physical appearance
Em...this is a bit hard to begin with...okay...I guess I have to admit that maybe I'm not like __________ (fill in the blanks with whatever you think fits)....but I am grateful to Allah the Creator that I'm me...so I guess that goes for everyone as well....but it is maybe inevitable that you might be a bit...slightly...eenie meenie bit...by chance perhaps...envious or have that green eyes once you came across someone having the better look (or assumed to be so)....especially when he or she grabs all the attention from the ones you love...OR the other side of the coin...is that you are the one that most of the time that gets the praises and gestures from the people around you....okay...maybe the fence-sitters can be both at the same time...it DOES happen...people have different perspective don't they....
We..as human beings...we love things that look great and attractive...take shopping for a shirt or a dress....of course we took the ones that looks pleasing...presentable...so that everyone else will say the same about us too...unfortunately...I have to say...the question whether you are a human being or an object to be chosen from...isn't a pleasant one....but that's how I feel or look at it...tell me if I'm wrong...I'm sorry for misleading....I think..to me...in a situation that we need to choose...a person..as a partner,friend, or employee...it is something we just might sub-consciously take account for...so..is it necessarily wrong...if you choose to be friends or spouse with someone with good looks who is obviously more popular?...
Thus, a decision must be made...for better or worse...that is the social circle we live in today...try to evaluate yourself...have you ever treated anyone differently without any solid reason?...do you feel embarrassed to be seen by people when you are with someone?...or do you feel like you want the whole world to see he or she being with you?....should you?...to a certain extent...you have to agree...that complexion does have a stake in building relationships...as much as you try to deny or resist it...it occurs without us noticing...
Personality
The biggest cliche ever...when the inner beauty outshines the rest...you know what they say...beauty is in the eye of the beholder...does apparently what we see with our eyes signifies beauty?...looks can be deceiving is more like it...anyway...most people argue that personality of a person is the most important part...lets see how far the idea of personality can traverse...
Yes..the gem of character can really glow...people will look forward to be with someone that has such a great character...just name it...funny..sensible...cool...smart...friendly...caring...and the dreamy adjectives goes on and on and on....their presence seem very convenient to us....how they portray themselves...with such grace...what they do will warm the hearts of anyone...
Basically...the evaluation of personality depends on our actions and what we do...the way we lead our life...and what principles do we carry....people will see what values we bring inside ourselves...But the thing is...some people take these things for granted...they don't take the time to see with their hearts...and treasure the precious personality of a person...until one day...they realize...what they had been missing all this while...well...that goes for only certain people...and that is why personality sometimes become overshadowed...
Ability and Capability
Have you ever became amazed or admire anyone because of the thing they do?...does artistes ring the bell...well...just browse through some amazing things that will wow and awe you...maybe like singers...poets...guitarists...basketball or soccer players....or people who excel in their academics...something!!!...its up to you....your social circles will most probably revolve around those people who excel in the things you are amazed in...don't tell me you'll just ignore Taylor Swift when she's right in front of your eyeballs!!....(unless your not her fan...duh!!)...well...lets try a smaller and reachable scale of events please...okay...if you're a girl...then maybe you'll be more interested in people who are good in certain sports....you get the idea....
Mind you..what I said above there doesn't really apply as "double-standard"...because the term is usually used in things like rights...like in getting a job...government policies...but perhaps...if you think that you are not treated equally as a friend or spouse...that is if you regard it is as your RIGHT...I just like to put it up to make it sound more dramatic and hyperbolic..."favourtism"?...I don't know what's the difference either...google it-lah!!..haha...a piece of advice after the babble...I'm not trying to advocate some strange ideology....nor am I suffering from some dellusional heartbreak...it might or might not be related to my current life...but...in a situation that you want to choose a friend or spouse...think about the thing that matters most...of course anyone would recommend a good personality...yeah...sure...but is that exactly what you are doing right now?...that is a question I pose to myself actually....
Wednesday, February 9, 2011
Roller coaster
Yup...you could guess what you will be reading about...more of the metaphorical means of defining life...JOY!!!...ok...whatever....something I would like to share reference to the title above...
Midi's Departure
On the 8th of February...I would be losing another great person to me...Hamidi Rahim...my debate senior...2 years older than me...had left Malaysia bound for Australia...he'll be in Monash, Melbourne...he's taking up law not mistaken..sponsored by BNM!!!...great scholar...So...me and Ashman went to say our farewells...till the very end...his jokes and sense of humour still never fails to crack everyone especially me...he boarded his FIRST FLIGHT in his life...but he never appears to be sad to leave...perhaps he never really shows it...there's still facebook...so...I don't have to worry much...thanks to Zuhri...I wouldn't have to take KLIA Express again which costs RM35...he offered to drive us to KL Sentral...it was really kind and courteous of him...really thankful to have such seniors like them...So..this small gathering as "HoLa"s really was meaningful because being able to see them...eventhough not often...really put us back together again like old times...even at this point of time...they shared their life experiences and giving advices to me on how to take on the challenge after SPM...
Nadz's Birthday
Truth be told...I've never been somewhere to hangout or anything by myself...since I finished school...I don't have many friends in the vicinity since I went to boarding school...either that or I am inexperienced of taking the public transport...so this was a great opportunity....Ashman and I went to Mid Valley from KL Sentral...a bit tired from the journey...we stopped by at BB for some refreshments...we chat for like an hour only about our role to improve the school the debate team...we met Aiman and Nadz in front of the GSC....exchanged a few words and we're off to go SHOPPING!!...I bought 3 T-shirts for myself but I'm not sure whether Ashman did really buy anything for himself...it was mainly me who is a bit enthusiastic at that moment...we had lunch at Little Penang Cafe...as recommended by Ashman...then..it was finally time for the real agenda....all of us gathered at Secret Recipe...Aiman,Nadz of course...Wan,Daus Azri,Aina and Kelly...I was somewhat unprepared about coming to celebrate Nadz's birthday...I didn't know about the plan at all...at least until Ashman told me...never mind...so...no birthday presents or cards...SORRY!!...my fault I guess...other than a lot of conversations and Daus keep insisting me on eating MORE cake...all of us were a bit blur of what to do next...and the next thing we know was going for laser tag...many of us never played it before and we had a great time...by 6..we already needed to part ways...my legs were killing me...I could barely descend on the staircase...Daus had to carry me on his back half way down when I decided I needed to do this on my own...even if it kills me...Me ,Nadz and Azri reached Shah Alam around 8...due to the congestion of mass transit...all in all...it was a great day!!
Abort and Fail
My instructor was busy so I had to come to the driving academy myself...I had to wake up early so my dad can send me there...for the fact the test is an hour later!!!...no biggie actually...sitting and doing nothing for an hour isn't really a big deal...I text my friends to keep the time going...alas...a good friend of mine...who planned to visit me this weekend had to abort the whole thing...I was really disappointed...I was not sure of the reason...but regardless...its fine...and its another RM130 for me to take the retest because I just failed the road section...my parents had to fork out more money just because of me...wth....
But do you know what's worse....."getting left behind"....
THAT was a totally different thing altogether....conclusion is...its just life...
Midi's Departure
On the 8th of February...I would be losing another great person to me...Hamidi Rahim...my debate senior...2 years older than me...had left Malaysia bound for Australia...he'll be in Monash, Melbourne...he's taking up law not mistaken..sponsored by BNM!!!...great scholar...So...me and Ashman went to say our farewells...till the very end...his jokes and sense of humour still never fails to crack everyone especially me...he boarded his FIRST FLIGHT in his life...but he never appears to be sad to leave...perhaps he never really shows it...there's still facebook...so...I don't have to worry much...thanks to Zuhri...I wouldn't have to take KLIA Express again which costs RM35...he offered to drive us to KL Sentral...it was really kind and courteous of him...really thankful to have such seniors like them...So..this small gathering as "HoLa"s really was meaningful because being able to see them...eventhough not often...really put us back together again like old times...even at this point of time...they shared their life experiences and giving advices to me on how to take on the challenge after SPM...
Nadz's Birthday
Truth be told...I've never been somewhere to hangout or anything by myself...since I finished school...I don't have many friends in the vicinity since I went to boarding school...either that or I am inexperienced of taking the public transport...so this was a great opportunity....Ashman and I went to Mid Valley from KL Sentral...a bit tired from the journey...we stopped by at BB for some refreshments...we chat for like an hour only about our role to improve the school the debate team...we met Aiman and Nadz in front of the GSC....exchanged a few words and we're off to go SHOPPING!!...I bought 3 T-shirts for myself but I'm not sure whether Ashman did really buy anything for himself...it was mainly me who is a bit enthusiastic at that moment...we had lunch at Little Penang Cafe...as recommended by Ashman...then..it was finally time for the real agenda....all of us gathered at Secret Recipe...Aiman,Nadz of course...Wan,Daus Azri,Aina and Kelly...I was somewhat unprepared about coming to celebrate Nadz's birthday...I didn't know about the plan at all...at least until Ashman told me...never mind...so...no birthday presents or cards...SORRY!!...my fault I guess...other than a lot of conversations and Daus keep insisting me on eating MORE cake...all of us were a bit blur of what to do next...and the next thing we know was going for laser tag...many of us never played it before and we had a great time...by 6..we already needed to part ways...my legs were killing me...I could barely descend on the staircase...Daus had to carry me on his back half way down when I decided I needed to do this on my own...even if it kills me...Me ,Nadz and Azri reached Shah Alam around 8...due to the congestion of mass transit...all in all...it was a great day!!
Abort and Fail
My instructor was busy so I had to come to the driving academy myself...I had to wake up early so my dad can send me there...for the fact the test is an hour later!!!...no biggie actually...sitting and doing nothing for an hour isn't really a big deal...I text my friends to keep the time going...alas...a good friend of mine...who planned to visit me this weekend had to abort the whole thing...I was really disappointed...I was not sure of the reason...but regardless...its fine...and its another RM130 for me to take the retest because I just failed the road section...my parents had to fork out more money just because of me...wth....
But do you know what's worse....."getting left behind"....
THAT was a totally different thing altogether....conclusion is...its just life...
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