You will be my enemy..now and always...because you wanted to see me fall...now and always...
You thought that you won...and you did...I won't let you get away with it...I'll ruin your days ahead...and your victory becomes meaningless...
Even if others seem to think like you do...do I even bother if the whole world turn into the likes of you...
I might have fallen...from the pillars of strength...even my two legs cannot support me with the burden you put on me...
Watching me sprawl on the face of the earth in pain and agony....elicit smiles...you laugh to celebrate my suffering...
I know what you want....and you know what....I have it...and I'm not going to relinquish it...
Have you ever thought that you are wasting your time....spending a life to ruin mine...
Can't you see I'm standing up again....your efforts are worthless...
I'm smiling again...and you're not....
To think that I'm going to give up....not a chance...
I'll trample over you...I'm not going to look back...
I'm going to turn the tables on you...time will help me dig your grave...
Good riddance to the evil inside us...=)
Monday, January 24, 2011
Tuesday, January 18, 2011
Relationship
As I was walking...wandering haplessly...a caption of description caught my sight...
"Relationships are like plants; they will wilt and die if you don't care for them..."
Well...I thought...perhaps...
So..when I think about it everytime...when it comes to maintaining relationships...whether it is friendship or romantic relationships...I guess there are a lot of things that we need to remember...if you had a successful one...or deemed so...the quote up there is just one of the million other philosophical and metaphorical statement made to remind us of human connection...
As for me...after had finished taking SPM...basically finished high school...everyone had entered a new phase in life...where you are on your own most of the time...occupied with their own ways...forming new social circles...a perfect moment that will attest our commitment in maintaining relationships...
Time is making this plant we are talking about dehydrated...coarsened by the searing heat and blinding sunshine...so I am just wondering how do I know how committed the other behalf is...since it is a two way communication...maybe apparently there is no way of knowing (unless clearly stated)...if they really treasure this plant...but if you think this plant is a burden to you just because the other person does not do anything about it either...does it make you as ignorant as the latter?
From my standpoint...I would rather be the one to rectify and preserve the relationship first even if the other person seemed passive...why wait when we could always be the first to make the move to save a weakening bond...sometimes it is not about commitment...its about limitations, constraints and different paths in life that separates us from the other party...
thinking about ending a relationship?...trying to erase a person from your mind?...whatever it is...you can't just have that vengeance in you to continuously hate a person...it will only hurt and ache even more that it already is...looks like this plant has thorns...still...its a plant that we must take care of...if its just too hard...lets just maintain a safe distance...let go...but don't let it die...the consequences of cutting ties will only spur more hatred around us...it will spread like a plague...relationship with other people will deteriorate as we lose confidence and trust in people gradually...
meeting new people is a great opportunity to make your life even cheerful...like gardening?...even if you don't..you would still enjoy having a wide array of plants in your garden...different people have different characteristics which we might like or don't like...but their presence will make us feel more complete...if only people take some time to discover and understand new things...our perception will change too...avoid being skeptical...you might miss something what others don't...
So..I'm just going to try my best to take care of my plants....even if it died...I have no regrets...hopefully it will decompose and let a new one sprout...but I'm really sure not to forget its roots...it's just memories that I have to keep to myself...even if others had moved on...if it means forgetting....maybe I don't want to move on...let me stay here and rot until another comes to greet with a helping hand and a reassuring smile....for I would be grateful once more to keep myself going...
Just pull out the weeds why don't ya!!
"Relationships are like plants; they will wilt and die if you don't care for them..."
Well...I thought...perhaps...
So..when I think about it everytime...when it comes to maintaining relationships...whether it is friendship or romantic relationships...I guess there are a lot of things that we need to remember...if you had a successful one...or deemed so...the quote up there is just one of the million other philosophical and metaphorical statement made to remind us of human connection...
As for me...after had finished taking SPM...basically finished high school...everyone had entered a new phase in life...where you are on your own most of the time...occupied with their own ways...forming new social circles...a perfect moment that will attest our commitment in maintaining relationships...
Time is making this plant we are talking about dehydrated...coarsened by the searing heat and blinding sunshine...so I am just wondering how do I know how committed the other behalf is...since it is a two way communication...maybe apparently there is no way of knowing (unless clearly stated)...if they really treasure this plant...but if you think this plant is a burden to you just because the other person does not do anything about it either...does it make you as ignorant as the latter?
From my standpoint...I would rather be the one to rectify and preserve the relationship first even if the other person seemed passive...why wait when we could always be the first to make the move to save a weakening bond...sometimes it is not about commitment...its about limitations, constraints and different paths in life that separates us from the other party...
thinking about ending a relationship?...trying to erase a person from your mind?...whatever it is...you can't just have that vengeance in you to continuously hate a person...it will only hurt and ache even more that it already is...looks like this plant has thorns...still...its a plant that we must take care of...if its just too hard...lets just maintain a safe distance...let go...but don't let it die...the consequences of cutting ties will only spur more hatred around us...it will spread like a plague...relationship with other people will deteriorate as we lose confidence and trust in people gradually...
meeting new people is a great opportunity to make your life even cheerful...like gardening?...even if you don't..you would still enjoy having a wide array of plants in your garden...different people have different characteristics which we might like or don't like...but their presence will make us feel more complete...if only people take some time to discover and understand new things...our perception will change too...avoid being skeptical...you might miss something what others don't...
So..I'm just going to try my best to take care of my plants....even if it died...I have no regrets...hopefully it will decompose and let a new one sprout...but I'm really sure not to forget its roots...it's just memories that I have to keep to myself...even if others had moved on...if it means forgetting....maybe I don't want to move on...let me stay here and rot until another comes to greet with a helping hand and a reassuring smile....for I would be grateful once more to keep myself going...
Just pull out the weeds why don't ya!!
Sunday, January 16, 2011
Bump in The Road
Okay...this post might be pertaining to my streak of stressful driving classes...very frustrated indeed...(sigh)...I have no one to depend on but myself...I'm going to be liable and responsible for my actions...and I even might get others also involved because of my own carelessness and incompetence...hate it so much...but I had no choice...
to be directly speaking...I am totally bad when it comes to driving...now at least...but it goes also for other things for me...so...I am still wondering what should I do now to overcome this problem...of meeting the standards...to live in this very challenging world...I really don't like to burden or cause trouble for others...but in the state of being me now does just that....
I'm just going to make more efforts to eradicate the things that constantly bugs me...
to be directly speaking...I am totally bad when it comes to driving...now at least...but it goes also for other things for me...so...I am still wondering what should I do now to overcome this problem...of meeting the standards...to live in this very challenging world...I really don't like to burden or cause trouble for others...but in the state of being me now does just that....
I'm just going to make more efforts to eradicate the things that constantly bugs me...
Monday, January 3, 2011
Yikes!!!
To where it leads to...I'm not sure...but what is certain is that I have to keep going...its about time now...it wouldn't wait for me until it closes permanently...I'm ready for the risk...the consequences...the outcome shall not influence about how I view my decision...I wouldn't regret this...Door of Destiny...here I come...
Sunday, January 2, 2011
I Can't Let Go
"Assalamualaikum and a very pleasant morning I bid Mr. Principal,Mr.
Abdul Hashim b. Abdul Karim,Dr. Mior Hamdan b. Haji Ghazali,Senior Assistant,Mr.Zakaria b.Yusof,Senior Assistant of Student Affairs,Mr.Haji Badri b. Abdul Manaf,Senior Assistant of Co-curricular activities,senior teachers,teachers, and beloved STARians..."
As if I had woken up from a trance...this was last year...and the years before...I can't imagine myself anymore standing next to the rostrum...parallel to the flagpole...which the Jalur Gemilang soar elegantly as it made its way to the top...aside from the blaring orchestra symphony by the band members...new faces...old faces...say greetings to each other...the 1st day of school had just begun...FOR THOSE WHO ARE STILL IN SCHOOL...
Sorry...I just can't seem to escape that nostalgic,sentimental thingy....haha...if it weren't for my cat...I wouldn't be in this spellbinding dilemma...I guess it started when my cat started to "knock" at the door asking to come inside the house...when I opened the door...the fresh,cool dawn gust of air seeps directly into my senses...the vibes...the aura...the environment...its all just too familiar...
My mum,who is a teacher, clad in her typical teacher attire like the rest of the teachers I know...said to me..
"usually at this time...You will be messaging us before going to school..."
* * * *
As if I had woken up from a trance...this was last year...and the years before...I can't imagine myself anymore standing next to the rostrum...parallel to the flagpole...which the Jalur Gemilang soar elegantly as it made its way to the top...aside from the blaring orchestra symphony by the band members...new faces...old faces...say greetings to each other...the 1st day of school had just begun...FOR THOSE WHO ARE STILL IN SCHOOL...
Sorry...I just can't seem to escape that nostalgic,sentimental thingy....haha...if it weren't for my cat...I wouldn't be in this spellbinding dilemma...I guess it started when my cat started to "knock" at the door asking to come inside the house...when I opened the door...the fresh,cool dawn gust of air seeps directly into my senses...the vibes...the aura...the environment...its all just too familiar...
My mum,who is a teacher, clad in her typical teacher attire like the rest of the teachers I know...said to me..
"usually at this time...You will be messaging us before going to school..."
That is just enough to make my eyes all watery...argh....I just nodded benignly....and I put up a slight smile...acknowledging what she meant...school's over for me...
I might be complaining now and then about how boring school is...but I wouldn't be imagining either I would be saying all these things...(sigh)....Get a life and move on, you hoarder!!!...(strangling myself)
1)Teachers
2)Friends
3)Co-curricular activities
If I am standing in the verdant Kinta Valley RIGHT NOW (teleporting myself)....(virtually)...the first thing I wanted to know is how the teachers are doing...I bet it is just the same as their previous years...they had been teachers their whole life...but...its just good to know if they are doing fine...likewise I'm sure...just like the years before...I would also be thinking about the teachers who I am are really intimate or close with...the same person who brought me from nothing...from gullible Form 1 until rebellious Form 5...their ways...fared far from changes...and they will do the same...again and again...until the next person came in line....special dedication and tribute to ALL TEACHERS IN STAR...
FRIENDS...they are all over Malaysia right now...some had gone somewhere....namely PLKN and pre-university programmes...or just sitting and relaxing like what I am doing right now...haha....but...its the memories and the past actions with them...still lies HERE....when you just stood there...whether it is in the dorm or the dining hall...or the surau....it bombards your mind with countless, endless, ceaseless visions....flashbacks keep playing in your mind..."once upon a time"..."it once happened"....now...you don't have a chance to re-live...reincarnate...or been through it once more...for all is lost...gone...consumed by time and phase...The next generation had taken over...it could be somewhat agonizing or comforting...those things are like treasures that you just want to lock it in and seal right inside a chest...I could still contact my friends right now...but the feeling wasn't the same like when it used to...our lives had differed now due to the inevitable parting of ways...perhaps our paths will or can cross and converge...but it won't stay the same like it did 5 years ago...To Batch of 50...wherever you are...hope your doing fine...(sob)
owh...the more...enlightening part..."ko-ko"...don't you still have that fighting spirit for your school...keep it...you might need it one day...just got bored in school and you feel you want to do something...that's it...I don't have to elaborate on the typical essay question about the importance of co-curricular activities....well...been there done that...your too old for that level playing field...I know for certain....but at least we can still live on the legacy of our own...use the experience and knowledge we have for our own future...perhaps that is what we already thought about since the day we started...just browse through your certificates and you'll be reminiscing the places you've been...the exciting and nerve-wrecking moments...the grief and anguish of competitions...your social circle expanded cross borders...give yourself a pat in the back for the fact you've been through it all...as for me...I have to train the juniors for the debate team...chaiyok!!!
I might be complaining now and then about how boring school is...but I wouldn't be imagining either I would be saying all these things...(sigh)....Get a life and move on, you hoarder!!!...(strangling myself)
1)Teachers
2)Friends
3)Co-curricular activities
If I am standing in the verdant Kinta Valley RIGHT NOW (teleporting myself)....(virtually)...the first thing I wanted to know is how the teachers are doing...I bet it is just the same as their previous years...they had been teachers their whole life...but...its just good to know if they are doing fine...likewise I'm sure...just like the years before...I would also be thinking about the teachers who I am are really intimate or close with...the same person who brought me from nothing...from gullible Form 1 until rebellious Form 5...their ways...fared far from changes...and they will do the same...again and again...until the next person came in line....special dedication and tribute to ALL TEACHERS IN STAR...
FRIENDS...they are all over Malaysia right now...some had gone somewhere....namely PLKN and pre-university programmes...or just sitting and relaxing like what I am doing right now...haha....but...its the memories and the past actions with them...still lies HERE....when you just stood there...whether it is in the dorm or the dining hall...or the surau....it bombards your mind with countless, endless, ceaseless visions....flashbacks keep playing in your mind..."once upon a time"..."it once happened"....now...you don't have a chance to re-live...reincarnate...or been through it once more...for all is lost...gone...consumed by time and phase...The next generation had taken over...it could be somewhat agonizing or comforting...those things are like treasures that you just want to lock it in and seal right inside a chest...I could still contact my friends right now...but the feeling wasn't the same like when it used to...our lives had differed now due to the inevitable parting of ways...perhaps our paths will or can cross and converge...but it won't stay the same like it did 5 years ago...To Batch of 50...wherever you are...hope your doing fine...(sob)
owh...the more...enlightening part..."ko-ko"...don't you still have that fighting spirit for your school...keep it...you might need it one day...just got bored in school and you feel you want to do something...that's it...I don't have to elaborate on the typical essay question about the importance of co-curricular activities....well...been there done that...your too old for that level playing field...I know for certain....but at least we can still live on the legacy of our own...use the experience and knowledge we have for our own future...perhaps that is what we already thought about since the day we started...just browse through your certificates and you'll be reminiscing the places you've been...the exciting and nerve-wrecking moments...the grief and anguish of competitions...your social circle expanded cross borders...give yourself a pat in the back for the fact you've been through it all...as for me...I have to train the juniors for the debate team...chaiyok!!!
Okay...I can take off that contraption from my face now and step back into reality...Actually, I have anticipated all of these to happen a long time ago...but I still fall for it...perhaps I just can't let go of it...just YET!!! haha...cherrio!!
Saturday, January 1, 2011
Conscious
Today's post would be on conscious...the definition of conscious literally would be ranging from experiencing,feelings,awareness and understanding...quite straight forward right...
1)Do I need to be conscious?
2)What is there to be conscious about?
3)Am I conscious enough?
Yes...we would want to be conscious...like it or not...it is a part of being human...we care and we share the world where everyone is inter-connected...co-mingle...there is no choice...such anti-social behaviour that is against the principle of being conscious such as self-isolation and being indifferent to self and the world...a dark feeling it is...everyone will go through such things..whether it is in relationships,humanity and life itself...we will be conscious about something...but sometimes people chose to play the role of 'I don't care anybody but myself'...'to hell with everyone'...'its not my problem'...'its not like you have any importance to me'...these kind of people lack of consciousness...to realize that they are only leading themselves and others to their absolute detriment...no one benefits...no interest gain...but mutual destruction...is certain...So...it is important to be conscious about everything or anyone around us...we must care about people and the world...whether if we don't know them...or we hate them...we are still looking at the same thing at the same standpoint....there is no different worlds between us...life is better when you and I live for a better future...lets take example of global warming...how many of us are conscious enough to take part in green programmes?...did we did our part to safeguard the environment?...if we conscious enough...we'll do the necessary things...what about the poor?...the victims of a natural disaster or human actions?...its all similar...with consciousness...we will make a change...
Basically..conscious carries values of love,sincerity,unity, and so much more...sometimes...we tend to forget being conscious...or perhaps the sub-conscious mind had lead us somewhere...that might hurt others...unintentionally...well...understanding here plays a vital role...if we understand something or someone very well...much conflicts can be avoided...many souls can be saved...many hearts can be consoled or comforted...both parties of each sides can take the task of being the understanding entities...such conflicts and miscommunication can be resolved in a minute time...we must understand the other party's viewpoint or situation...then only...we will fathom their true hearts...and come to our senses...that it isn't worth fighting for...we can promote understanding by being tolerant and patient...
Consciousness last as there is sincerity...we don't want returns, rewards or any kind..we want to be conscious about life and humanity itself...we must appreciate our ability to reason...have empathy and sympathy...think of yourself and others...some people put others ahead of themselves...I am not saying it is totally a good thing to do so...perhaps to a certain extend...the principle behind what actions we do...is what matters...our intentions...to give joy to others...alleviate sorrows...and it multiplies...it frees us all from the guilt...
Sacrifices are inevitable...but you may not lose anything...we will in fact gain much at the end of the day through our quality of life...sometimes we feel there is something missing in life...it maybe something that we haven't fulfilled yet towards other things...To Muslims...Allah created us to do good in the world...we have obligations to Him, the people around us and ourselves through fardhu kifayah and fardhu ain...we must be conscious of all of it..
That is all for now...my hopes that we will all raise our level of consciousness and make things work for all...do not foster the ill feeling such as hatred and anger...if we experience such feeling from others or within ourselves...let us be the one to stop the vicious cycle...and forgive ourselves and others for the damages that traversed...
1)Do I need to be conscious?
2)What is there to be conscious about?
3)Am I conscious enough?
Yes...we would want to be conscious...like it or not...it is a part of being human...we care and we share the world where everyone is inter-connected...co-mingle...there is no choice...such anti-social behaviour that is against the principle of being conscious such as self-isolation and being indifferent to self and the world...a dark feeling it is...everyone will go through such things..whether it is in relationships,humanity and life itself...we will be conscious about something...but sometimes people chose to play the role of 'I don't care anybody but myself'...'to hell with everyone'...'its not my problem'...'its not like you have any importance to me'...these kind of people lack of consciousness...to realize that they are only leading themselves and others to their absolute detriment...no one benefits...no interest gain...but mutual destruction...is certain...So...it is important to be conscious about everything or anyone around us...we must care about people and the world...whether if we don't know them...or we hate them...we are still looking at the same thing at the same standpoint....there is no different worlds between us...life is better when you and I live for a better future...lets take example of global warming...how many of us are conscious enough to take part in green programmes?...did we did our part to safeguard the environment?...if we conscious enough...we'll do the necessary things...what about the poor?...the victims of a natural disaster or human actions?...its all similar...with consciousness...we will make a change...
Basically..conscious carries values of love,sincerity,unity, and so much more...sometimes...we tend to forget being conscious...or perhaps the sub-conscious mind had lead us somewhere...that might hurt others...unintentionally...well...understanding here plays a vital role...if we understand something or someone very well...much conflicts can be avoided...many souls can be saved...many hearts can be consoled or comforted...both parties of each sides can take the task of being the understanding entities...such conflicts and miscommunication can be resolved in a minute time...we must understand the other party's viewpoint or situation...then only...we will fathom their true hearts...and come to our senses...that it isn't worth fighting for...we can promote understanding by being tolerant and patient...
Consciousness last as there is sincerity...we don't want returns, rewards or any kind..we want to be conscious about life and humanity itself...we must appreciate our ability to reason...have empathy and sympathy...think of yourself and others...some people put others ahead of themselves...I am not saying it is totally a good thing to do so...perhaps to a certain extend...the principle behind what actions we do...is what matters...our intentions...to give joy to others...alleviate sorrows...and it multiplies...it frees us all from the guilt...
Sacrifices are inevitable...but you may not lose anything...we will in fact gain much at the end of the day through our quality of life...sometimes we feel there is something missing in life...it maybe something that we haven't fulfilled yet towards other things...To Muslims...Allah created us to do good in the world...we have obligations to Him, the people around us and ourselves through fardhu kifayah and fardhu ain...we must be conscious of all of it..
That is all for now...my hopes that we will all raise our level of consciousness and make things work for all...do not foster the ill feeling such as hatred and anger...if we experience such feeling from others or within ourselves...let us be the one to stop the vicious cycle...and forgive ourselves and others for the damages that traversed...
Farewell and Kudos
I am going and will be missing my friends of Batch of 50...who will have many undertakings in the future...
Farewell to Aiman Sanudin...haha...who will be going to Kolej Tuanku Jaafar this Wednesday...I personally pray for your success here and hereafter....last words from me is...take care of yourself...and be happy always...you're truly amazing...kudos to you...I owe you a lot...only Allah can repay my debts to you......you are an ideal icon of a successful person to me...:)..(sigh)...at the moment...I cannot find right words to say to you...
Farewell to Syafiq Affendy aka peya...who will be attending PLKN or National Service...very great character...wacky...haha....llikeable at all times...kudos for being such a great friend to many people..especially Batch of 50...last words is tc...don't let others influence you too much okay...be yourself!!!...
not forgetting also my good friend amir ashraf!!!!...kudos for always cheering me up....have a great experience while you are at the camp...I am sure there are many adventures await you there...bye amir!!!
And also not forgetting to others Batch of 50 who had gone for PLKN...
Time really flies doesn' it....:(
Farewell to Aiman Sanudin...haha...who will be going to Kolej Tuanku Jaafar this Wednesday...I personally pray for your success here and hereafter....last words from me is...take care of yourself...and be happy always...you're truly amazing...kudos to you...I owe you a lot...only Allah can repay my debts to you......you are an ideal icon of a successful person to me...:)..(sigh)...at the moment...I cannot find right words to say to you...
Farewell to Syafiq Affendy aka peya...who will be attending PLKN or National Service...very great character...wacky...haha....llikeable at all times...kudos for being such a great friend to many people..especially Batch of 50...last words is tc...don't let others influence you too much okay...be yourself!!!...
not forgetting also my good friend amir ashraf!!!!...kudos for always cheering me up....have a great experience while you are at the camp...I am sure there are many adventures await you there...bye amir!!!And also not forgetting to others Batch of 50 who had gone for PLKN...
Time really flies doesn' it....:(
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)